How to Catch a LION

Newton 's Method :


Let, the lion catch you.

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Implies you caught lion.





Einstein Method :


Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.

Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will
get
tired soon.

Now you can trap it easily.





Indian Police Method :


Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a
lion.





Rajnikanth Method :


Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.

The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.



Manirathnam Method (director) :


Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark

room with a single candle lighted.

Keep murmuring something in its ears.

The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.





Karan Johar Method (director) :


Send a lioness into the forest.

Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.

Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.

First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd
lioness.

But 2nd lioness loves both lions.

Now send another lioness (third) into the forest.

You don't understand right... ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u
wont!





Yash Chopra method (director) :


Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic
location.





Govinda method :


Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.





Menaka Gandhi method :


Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables
continuously.





George bush method :


Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!





Ravi Shastri method :


Ask the lion to bowl at u.

U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run

Lion tired and surrenders





And our method




Software Engineer Method :

Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.

If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion





How to kill a lion By Companies...

Dont Miss the last 1... ;-)




Cognizant Method :


hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to
do.
give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.
hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit
give them same gobi 65 to eat
hire 200 more....... and more .......




TCS method :


hire a lion
give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary
lion dies of hunger and frustration





IBM's metbod :

hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour ...
he dies of unemployment...

MBT (Tech Mahindra) method :


hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't
score
60% he will lose the job.


lion dies of the strain?




i-Flex method :


hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African
safari
for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he
comes
alive he will get band movement (promotion)

holy cow dies in fear of the real lion





Patni method :


hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...
the lion dies before joining....




Wipro Method :


Hire a Lion,
give him a mail Id.
he will die recieving stupid mails all day........!!!!




Accenture Method :


Hire a lion....

Send him to chennai

Ask him to stay on bench for a long time

Ask him to eat idli,Dosa and Vada

No hindi, kannada or no other languages speaking ppl other than TAMIL...

No good food, No water..and specially No Beautiful girls

And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger".

Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion......


INFOSYS METHOD :

HIRE A LION?..

SEND HIM FOR TRAINING AND MAKE HIM FEEL........


....................................................KING OF THE JUNGLE

MAKE HIM GIVE GENERIC COMPREE EXAM
................??............................................LION TURNS
INTO
CAT


MAKE HIM GIVE STREAM COMPREE EXAM .................

............................................?.CAT TURNS INTO A MICE

TELL HIM ABOUT FUTURE TRAINING?.........................

.................................................MICE COMMITS SUICIDE